I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
It's rum buckets o'clock
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
