So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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