So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
