i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
