She announced her abortion via fbk
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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