I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
