Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
