Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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