Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
