You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
