Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Still dying that you shit outside
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
