Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
