Is it because I queefed?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
