So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Randomize