her vagine was all disorganized.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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