he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
