She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
