Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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