Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
