Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize