I'm gonna have a badass scar
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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