K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
