nut hugger
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
She needs sedatives and a leash
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
