I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
