Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Someone shattered a urinal.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
