You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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