what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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