When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
