we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize