This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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