he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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