There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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