ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
