I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
