Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Michael Bay diarrhea
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
