do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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