These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
