it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
