This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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