real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
