Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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