Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
He kissed a someone with a penis
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
