if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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