Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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