i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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