If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Randomize
