i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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