You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
