I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
