Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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