Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
