exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
This gyro tastes like lonliness
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
