im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
