im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
