I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
