Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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