Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
