I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
PANTIES FOUND
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